Cutting off or staying connected
fter reading a letter today in Dear Abby, it occurred to me how quickly we jump to cutting off from others as a way to "solve" relational issues. The letter was written by a woman who had a problem with her aunt and her knee-jerk reaction was to stop inviting to her...
On the Outside Looking In
When you are going through a divorce, sometimes it feels as though you are on the outside, looking in. Many of my clients talk about the pain of feeling like an outsider, as though everyone around them is in a happy marriage. If they attend a church, they often feel...
Can there be Grace in Divorce?
When I first began to research the topic of grief in divorce, I never expected to find evidence of God's grace so prevalent in the stories I heard from the women I interviewed. Though they were sharing intimate details of confusion, pain and sorrow, I realized that...
Creative Conflict
Changing arguments into creative conflicts It only takes one motivated person to change an argument into a creative conflict Be aware of your own physiology and emotional responses. On a scale of one to ten, how would your rate your emotional response? If it is an...
When Adult Children Return Home
“Hi, I’m home.” This greeting has sent a chill into the heart of many parents as they find their adult children returning to the family nest. You man have considered the possibility of your adult children moving back home an impossibility until they showed up with...
Getting Better Versus Feeling Better
A recent newsletter I received from Dr. Ellyn Bader of the Couples Institute highlighted the difference between getting better and feeling better. Believe it or not, the two are often not the same! Getting better sometimes creates challenges as you begin to shift...
PARENTING LESSONS FROM THE DOG WHISPERER
A few years ago I learned about the Dog Whisperer from an enthusiastic couple. They had noticed that much of what Cesar Milan shares on his TV show about dog psychology also applies to parenting! Intrigued, and having just acquired my very first dog, Princess...
Can you grow through Divorce?
Thought it may seem counter-intuitive, it is possible to grown through divorce. This means, however, a commitment to doing more than just surviving, or fighting with your ex, or waiting to be rescued by someone knew. It requires a heartfelt commitment to...